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I smell sex & candy

It's really summer now...

The air is heavy and thick with that heady scent of freshly cut grass and blooming foliage. It makes me nostalgic for an indescript time -- one of those summers that you can't quite put your finger on, maybe all of them, maybe one that never really existed outside of my imagination.

Whatever it is, it also makes me anxious, but in a good way... like something amazing is bound to happen. And in the same way it makes me incredibly horny :) It's the weight of the air on my skin that does it - I've always been that way I guess -- the weather warms up & so do I. Christ, Joe has no idea what he's in for ;) I've been so reserved with him lately... maybe even up to this point entirely.

Who knows. I think part of it is that I'm still trying to get used to having a new constant lover... Part of me has kept him at arms length, even at my most aroused -- in the same way I've always held back from my, well for lack of a better term , more "disposable" lovers. There's just such a huge level of trust & comfort that I need to reach before I can really let myself go, and for the longest time I've been afraid or perhaps intentionally distant... But I have a feeling that all of that is about to change. :) Especially now, when it seems I want to jump every guy I see... that's just all going to be channelled into our next encounter.

Good god... I'm making myself even worse. Heh. This very well may need to happen tonight :)