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Okay. A little rant today about crushes... Not specific to any of the numbered / lettered crowd, just my head filling up with crap again.

I think, in general, crushes exist solely because you don't actually KNOW the person you're crushing on. Help me out here folks... this is true, no? While not sleeping yet *again* last night, it occurred to me that a goodly span of my life has been taken up by my harboring romantic feelings for boys who I have basically injected with various fantasies.
Hmmn, sense... I should probably try to make some.
What I'm trying to say, is that time & again I find myself wandering down a path in my mind with a given boy - imagining what a relationship with him would be like... basically imagining what *he* would be like. And these musings often end up manifesting themselves in the form of crushes. This would be all well & good, except that I'm basically swooning over objects of my own creation - they simply do not exist in reality the way I project them to be in my mind. The real danger here is that I'm often not entirely aware that I've gone ahead & done this (again) and instead my brain runs wild, I get all worked up & then I find myself horribly disappointed when they (inevitably) don't turn out to be who they are in my head. It's all terribly sad when I think of the YEARS of my life I've literally wasted mooning over people that in real life, my dating them would not be an option.
For example, let's start with exhibit B: in love with him forever, actually took me nearly 10 years to come to the conclusion that hanging with him will always be fun, but that he would suck beyond belief as a boyfriend.
Moving on to exhibit I: one of the better jobs I've ever done in creating a personality for someone with absolutely NO basis in reality. I thought he was this dashing, older guy with experience... I thought he was brooding & mysterious... turned out he was just painfully shy, incapable of starting/having a relationship, and that I had been his first kiss.
There are more examples than I would dare to put you through... seriously. On. Going. Problem. It's all so mind-blowing when I think about the amount of time & emotion wasted... *sigh* I just have to keep this weakness of mine more in the forefront of my mind lest I should fall into one of my own traps AGAIN. /rant

Also… apparently it was very Unhip of me to have attended the Stereophonics show on Monday *insert eye roll* Whatever. They were good, the dude is totally hot, & I had a fucking blast.

Also… considering actually trying to combine my 3 (4?) sites into one, but not sure what the best way to do that might be. I'm thinking it will involve purchasing a domain name & perhaps Movable Type (which I think may be a tad too advanced for me) or possibly Type Pad. Anyone with any knowledge of any of this crap please write/call/reply & let me know what you think I could handle…



( 2 spankings — spank your inner moppet )
Sep. 24th, 2003 10:31 pm (UTC)
I'm totally with you. I develop crushes at the drop of a hat, and most of the time they have nothing to do with reality. Don't know why we do this. Maybe we're just impatient people... it takes too damn long to really know a person. You learn faster when you're smooching them, so the key is to pick up on those clues and not keep forcing your reality onto them.
Sep. 25th, 2003 02:08 pm (UTC)
lol. I suppose I am rather impatient... especially when it comes to things I want ;o)
( 2 spankings — spank your inner moppet )