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Right - so I was doing so well, right? I had one guy flying across an ocean to meet me, I had picked up a guy in a bar, maybe two guys... life was golden.

And I really felt like I was finally moving on... away from him, away from those nagging feelings of not being worthy of love because *he* didn't love me.

And then I saw him friday. Joan Osborne show at the Vanderbilt. It's a small venue, I knew I would see him, I just wasn't prepared for awful seeing him would make me feel. How painful it would be to watch him ignore me. After a couple of hours I got tired of pretending I didn't see him... I mean through circumstances beyond my control - we were standing 3 feet apart. So I said "Hi Kris". He turned around slowly, nodded at me with a look of condescension, then turned away again. That was IT. More ignoring for the rest of the night. It pissed me off so much. What? We can't be civil? We have to behave like children?

Then I find out he thinks I'm psychotic ad that he's been keeping an online journal too!


I'm so glad I didn't know about it until now.
It's so hurtful... reading it was physically painful, and very nearly made me cry.