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I swear to CHRIST I did not write this. And I was going to write a whole spiel about how many times we crossed paths over the weekend and what somebody said about the two of us, but I can't add on to the ego stoking that is today, so I'll save it for another time.

OMG. Please tell me we can pre-order the dvd NOW!!!! Yes, yes I understand that he is a dirty, dirty whore of a man... but I already can't breathe when I think about the man, knowing that he can back his mouth up is just going to put me over the edge. (link from Laura/temp)

So, I saw this link over at Lindsay's site. I looked, I was suitably horrified, I thought it would be endlessly amusing to pass it on to Boy D, because, well, he's Boy D & blah blah hismomthinksheshouldbemarriedbynow cakes. Instead, it turns out, once again, that Jocelyn has no idea what she's talking about whatsoever...

Me: http://www.marryblaire.com/
Me: there you go
Boy D: go ahead and submit my name
Me: if you're serious
Me: god i don't even know what I'd do
Me: something drastic
Boy D: why not?
Me: you would really want to meet someone who is THAT desperate for a ring?
Me: i just think she's scary
Boy D: eh. i can talk her out of it
Boy D: she's kinda cute
Me: you saw the photo gallery?
Boy D: yep
Me: the "this is how I'll look when he proposes" look?
Me: this is cute to you?
Me: She looks like Janice from friends!
Boy D: passable
Me: ok. I need to stop having this conversation before my head explodes
Me: lol
Me: i don't get boys
Me: at all

Now , if I could refer you back to Claire for a moment... (excuse me, Blaire) She is just about a month older than I am. And what does that mean? Should I be on some kind of hunt for a fiance too? On the one hand hey - I'm turning 27 this year & I always figured I'd be married by 25... I mean, when all the Tuckahoe girls started to get engaged I was thinking we were all too young, but now that I look at it... they're all tying the knot at 26 or 27, and really... that's pretty much on target isn't it? So, why is it then that I flip the hell out when ever I think about marriage? Why does my head SCREAM that I'm still too young, still "cookie-dough" if you will (if you caught that reference you know I worship you). Marriage is huge. HUGE. Way beyond my capacity for reason at the moment. Have I always dreamed of a wedding? Absolutely. Will mine be big and girly and involve a castle and possibly ducks? Yes, yes it will. But I just wish I could have one without having to tell someone we'll be together forever and ever
amen, you know?

Right now I can barely comprehende what it would be like to have
someone LOVE me again... it's been so long since I felt anything like that and in my twisted brain I start to wonder if I'm still capable of inspiring emotions to that degree in anyone. It's just that looking back, it seems I had it pretty easy... from 17 to 24 I just had these wonderful boys back to back to back each of whom loved me each in their own wonderful way. And I suppose I thought it would go on that way... that there would always be someone who loved me - but apparently, this is not the case. And I float from guy to guy trying to determine if I'm even wanted nevermind loved... it's all part of the "I don't date" scenario. Dating is too weird. It involves people I don't know and don't particularly care about (yet?) All of my best relationships have evolved from friendships. Actually ALL of my relationships have evolved from friendships.

That's why it's such a precarious game with the Alphas or the Betas or who have you... because of the way I am, I am a CHAMP at becoming "the friend". I am love interest material for a week or two if I'm lucky - a month TOPS, and then I'm that best girl-who's-a-friend they can't live without. I cannot tell you how many times I have done this. You wouldn't believe me if I told you anyhow. And so I get to have fabulous conversations about the girls they date or crush on or what have you - and while yes, they can sting a little, in the end it just ends up robbing me of my own crush. what's that god-awful Blink182 quote ... "and it's happened once again, you'll turn into a friend, someone who understands, and sees through the master plan" ? Yep. that's me. in a big way.

Oh, and Killers tonight. I'll be there, let's hope I can get in!!!