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I’m gonna fuck it up again...

I've acquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake...

Musings first, Saturday later...

I may be hatching a new batch of boys soon. I think to avoid confusion, we'll call them the Betas, lol. I'll have to come up with another set of initials or numbers for them – but I'm not entirely sure how that might work. Besides... everything about the Betas is really in some sort of incubatory period at the moment. I'm not even sure if any of them will survive long enough to be blessed with a name, but it's nice to know at least that the possibility is on the horizon.

So, let me take a moment to talk about one of the Beta-to-be's... I should not, under any circumstances, become involved with this boy – only I like him, and that is going to inevitably screw everything up. To be honest, although I've known him for a while now, I haven't ever considered him romantically for a variety of reasons and that rationale was overwhelming. But it seems to me that the more I get to know him, the more I find I like him, and the more I find I like the way we are together. Only... the reasons I didn't think this would be a good idea to begin with - are still mostly intact. First and foremost, I never thought in a million years that he'd ever be remotely interested in me... only now it's possible that I might have been wrong – or it's possible that I'm completely imagining things. I mean, we all know how overactive my imagination can get. – so I think it's best to not count my chickens in this case. Especially since I might have gone ahead and cracked the egg this weekend anyhow. Sometimes I amaze even myself at my super-human ability to sabotage fledgling relationships before they've even begun. ::sigh:: There are other HUGE problems with this one... but really, why get into them if I've managed to bring down the curtain already?