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i don't know what to say really... I fucking give up. I don't want anything to do with boys anymore... at least in a romantic sense. And the problems that my friends are having with the opposite sex right now are only exacerbating my feelings on the subject. Maybe I'm just burnt out, maybe I got burnt - whatever it is, I'm feeling again like I just don't have the patience for them right now. Straight off, I'm going to beat Lisa to the punch who will invariably say that my problem is that I'm dealing with boys and ought to move on to men. It doesn't make a difference - they're interchangeable, "are you a mannish boy or a boyish man", etc... I just don't have the energy. I guess I've gone numb again, and that's just how it's going to be for a while. I still want to go out, I want to see my friends & listen to bands & dance... I just have no desire to meet anyone new, or deal with anyone old for that matter. I feel like I've wasted this inordinate amount of energy performing mental gymnastics lately - and for what? I mean seriously now... I've had fights with people I'm not even dating for crying out loud! I've cried and moped and obsessed over a couple of kisses here and there and I'm just DONE. Lately I've been getting a ridiculous amount of hits off of nerve & match (which - since I'm not a member anymore, how is that even happening?) and I've written back to absolutely no one. There are, I'm sure, at least a few promising candidates in the bunch, but I just don't want to spend the time or the effort. Worst of all, there's been a new friendster boy - and we've been talking for two weeks or so now, and he wants to meet up this weekend - and I'm actually cringing at the thought. I don't want to meet him for real - I know I'm not ready, so I'll only end up fucking it up. I don't want to be disappointed again, I don't want to meet him and find out there's no spark. And if by some chance there is? What then? The way I'm feeling now I'd likely suffocate it before it had a chance to go anywhere. ::sigh:: I so wish girls night out was still happening - heaven knows I could really use the extra estrogen right about now. /rant