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where my girls at?

I've been so lazy... i just can't seem to pull my shit together & actually update. I mean, there are days when I can't seem to stop my fingers from setting forth every single thought in my head, but that hasn't really been the case lately. I guess I've been struggling with the issues of privacy and self-expression and how they affect how I normally go about excising my inner turmoils. Blah blah blah.

Weekend Update

This weekend was in oh so many ways "all about the girls" - with the boys, and even the music taking a backseat to some incredibly welcome female bonding. Get your heads out of the gutter. It wasn't that kind of bonding... I know the gay post was only a few weeks ago but please people - there's a difference between waxing nostalgic about your younger days & actually re-living them. Girlie-madness started when I left a voice mail for Laura to find out if our tentative plans to see The Prince & Me were firming up or what. That was around 4... having the day off, I naturally decided that was the perfect time for a nap. With my phone on vibrate. In the other room. After being out for 6 nights straight. riiiiiiiiight. Didn't wake up again until after 8. found Laura's various "where ARE you" messages & called her back just before 9 - movie at 9:45 - can I get there in time? Located the theater, Fandango'd a ticket & split post haste. I NEEDED that movie that night. Screw MotherFucker, screw alcohol & dancing & random hook-ups with boys in eyeliner... I needed desperately to believe in love again, to believe in happily ever after - or at least believe that Hollywood hadn't given up on the art of producing incredibly cheesy chick flicks for the teenybopper set. Travel time + parking = me missing about the first 7 minutes of the film. This apparently was not a big deal. Fiona summed it up for me: "the prince saw girls gone wild & wanted to come to America where the since here all the girls get naked for fun". Precisely. A completely predictable movie followed and the three of us kept up a line of sarcasm-infused commentary the entire time - I haven't laughed that much in quite some time. (I take that back -- Nora and I laughed ourselves silly upon witnessing Matt's onstage antics last Monday at Pianos. No really tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard - it was great) Also, despite the fact that certain people are trying to claim him for themselves... Luke Mably (link, duh, from Laura) is MY new boyfriend. I called dibs first upon emerging from the darkened theater, so get in line Ms.SlashTemp!!! Post - movie, Laura & I set out in search of a "Normal Bar" on the LES - normal being defined as... a)not a music venue 2)someplace we weren't likely to run into anyone we know. We further decreed that it must have readily available seating, since you know, Laura is 82 and all. We wandered around for quite sometime before finally settling on a pretty divey-looking bar touting "Budweiser" and "Tequila" in neon out front. It turned out to be a great find - decent prices, not a soul who looked remotely familiar, and a nice dimly lit back room with lots of corners for making out. Quit it. I did NOT make out with L. She's a bride of the Christ for Crying out loud! I'm just sayin - for future reference - i intend to bring boys there for kissing. We stayed out yapping until nearly 2 am - so much for my night off, lol. But I think it was time well spent. Explored some philosophical questions about love that I thought I had my opinion all sewn up on like, "is it better to find out that he never really cared about you in the first place - or to discover that you simply weren't enough to live up to his "her". (ghost, girl, or figment of his imagination...) I mean I used to think - definitely option "B" - in some kind of "better to have loved and lost" context. But I'm really not so sure anymore - I mean lately I've been really envying those who can cut people out of their lives with surgical precision. Who can take a hard look at a relationship, at a man they loved, and decided categorically that he didn't care for them, or that his bad qualities far outweigh the good - then simply write the time spent together off as a loss. I've never been able to do that, but sometimes I wish I could. I think it would be much easier to get over someone if you could hate them consistently...

Saturday, saturday... packed to the gills with more girlie-fun. First off, my sister was home from UCONN - so we were going through our closets trying on things for Easter. And, *insert shit-eating grin* I am pleased to announce that not a SINGLE spring dress in my closet fits me!!! Broke as I am, I actually had to go out & buy a new dress for Easter because I am a skinny bitch whose wardrobe is starting to actually swim on her. L&T supplied me with an endless array of adorable dresses in a svelte size 12, from which I narrowed it down to two sale items & then (with a little help from my sis) picked the black one 'cause I knew I'd have shoes to match & well, why not emphasize the new skinniness?

Later that evening The lovely Miss Ashley arrived in the Westchester to freshen up before I dropped her at the train on her way to dinner and my way to Tara's for drinks with the crew. So good to see everyone again, especially Jess, who I miss, and who's dying to go to the next Rock N Rollerskate with me - only now that I look at the date, I'm realizing that *I* can't go... Dyana's Shag night. Dammit. Regardless - the most shocking bit of the evening was discovering that Molly's closed last week - I mean this is huge on so many levels... first off, the fact that I didn't even know it was closing means I am spending FAR too much time in the city. Secondly - where are we to go? what are we to do? The general consensus was just to head back to Fogarty's - but DAMN! Molly's is no more.... r.i.p my darling neighborhood bar, r.i.p.

Left Westchester just after 11 to head down to Tiswas to meet up with Nora & a well-fed Ashley and catch White Light Motorcade who I've managed to miss twice before. Now according to the Tiswas website, they were supposed to go on before Elkland, but there was a line up change & I walked into the start of Elkland's set. Now, it's important to note that I *liked* what I heard of Elkland. Unfortunately, their set was a complete disaster. Technical difficulties arose that apparently were too great to overcome - they tried out 3 or 4 songs and finally called it quits after stopping and starting for the 17th time. This actually worked in our favor, as we were itching to get over to Misshapes and meet up with everyone, and now we had one less set standing between us & utter debauchery. I liked WLM. They weren't exactly what I was expecting - maybe their recorded sound is a little pop-ier - their live show a little rockier? Hard to say really... Stuart, their drummer, who I'd met at Lit on Thursday night, was hysterical. Probably the most entertaining drummer to watch outside of that guy from Runner & The Thermodynamics . And The boys really did RAWK. It was nice to see someone really tear it up for a change - over the top stage antics may not always be what I want from a group, but in this case, it was perfect.

Exit Tiswas, Enter Misshapes. Crazy PACKED Misshapes. Promptly meet up with Susanna according to plan, excellent. We are now 4 hot chicks over the height of 5' 7" who are ready to get on down to the dance floor - except that no one else was dancing & they were all flooding one end of the dance floor staring at... a couple of guys doing some kind of karaoke? No! It was Gay Rappers! You know - I often wondered what a Rap act might look like in a club (yes, I still have to see 8Mile, sue me) now I know. I'm sure there would have been a point that I would have really enjoyed them if I hadn't been performing smack dab in the middle of my jonesin' to dance. /gayrappers The music started back up & we swarmed onto the floor. SO good. SO much fun. You wouldn't even believe me if I started naming off bits & pieces of the set list. Want a guest list? The romper room magic mirror saw Greg, Leigh & Geo, Audrey, Dennis, Jason, Lindsay, Jin, Jo, Amy, and I'm fairly certain I saw Rene & Dan - although by the time I made it over to say hey to them, they were gone... We danced and danced and danced & finally I headed out with the ladies in tow right around 4ish. I took Nora back to bklyn, crossed back over to the west side to take Susanna home, and then headed on home with Ashley nodding off beside me. We rolled into town around 5:15ish and you could see the workers in the Bakery already getting ready for the Easter rush.

Took a little nap before getting up for church. Yes, church. (Hey, at least on holidays... i used to go all the time, seriously, but now that I've got the sleeping in on Sundays thing down - it's been hard) Church was church - I cried a little - I should know better by now than to read the insert about who the lilies on the alter are dedicated to... ::sigh:: too many people crossed over. Post church I saw Ashley off & made my way to the family feast. SOOOOO much food. Never eating again. Also? I may have mentioned this before, but I have the loudest family ever. It's really no wonder that a certain degree of hearing loss is running rampant, we're just LOUD. Can't be heard? just yell over the next conversation. But the food is great - no denying that. Portuguese + Italian = too much of everything that tastes great & is terrible for you. But the kicker this year? Best Flan EVER. omg, my cousin's new wife Fatima made it. why so good? WHY SO GOOD? Man, i mean it was even better than Nella's used to be... dare I even suggest it might possibly be better than Voa's? Also? We discovered that to truly love the Flan, you have to be Portuguese. There was a very scientific poll taken & everything. Basically, the Italian cousins just don't love it like we do. Then again they love that Italian cheesecake with the ricotta & those little fruity bits that creep the hell out of me - so, i guess to each their own.
From Flan to Pianos... still in my Easter best, so if you missed TheDay After/Seventh Day Residency, then you missed what was quite likely a first & last in the realm of seeing Jocelyn dressed up like the good little church-going girl she is. Day After was fun. Steve & I taught Audrey all about Easter & then we ended up talking religion with "daddy" of Mommy & Daddy while Mommy spun some mellow-ish fun stuff. Sidebar: she categorizes her music like me, she had dividers for the cds with labels like "dancey-ish" - I'm so glad I'm not the only person to have made up that category. lol.
um, folks who showed up included: Steve, Nora, George, Casey, Greg, Leigh, Geo, Amy, Lindsay, Scott Stereogum, Jenny Penny, and MANY more - as the upstairs of Pianos was as crowded as I'd ever seen it for a performance before. But I'm thinking there were 4 REALLY good reasons for the crowd... Morning Theft, Jerrod of The Honorary Title, Paul Schneider, and of course, Dennis & Scott. Now, here is where you REALLY missed out if you missed the show - I LOVED every single performance. All different, yet all blended almost seamlessly. Now I can't wait to check out Morning Theft & The Honorary Title with their full ensembles, all "plugged in", I will immediately own Paul's CD, and I can't say enough about how the right sound levels completely changed my mind about Dennis playing with Scott. It was so perfect this time around - Dennis' voice drifting over Scott's airy guitar sounds... oh I'm so in love with their music, I can't wait to see them next week :)

A very sleepy me drove home after their set & climbed in bed at 11. SO needed sleep, and whaddya know? I even got a little. At some point someone asked me on Sunday if I'd seen any of the Alphas in my travels & I smiled & said that it had been an Alpha-Free weekend - only, in true retrospect? It wasn't. Boy 5 was out & about both on Saturday and on Sunday... but I'm still not sure if he ever earned that kind of recognition, 'cause I never really crushed on him the way I did with the others. But in the more important ways... no, no alphas - which was really, really quite nice for a change. Especially after my day on Friday. Friday started out as a day of rest, but ended up the kind of day where you're run through a ridiculous number of emotions & come out the other side feeling like your stomach's been turned completely inside out. In need of whiskey and a serious nap. On Sunday another thought started to nag at me. I saw a boy out that that I see around every now and then. Now we've been in various group conversations together, but I'm not entirely convinced that he knows my name, which is pretty much fine - even though we had kissed a few months back. It was a very drunk thing, and it was pretty much ordered up by a third party, which made it even more odd - but my point is that every time I see him, it takes me a little while to remember that we kissed at all, and so I wonder what he thinks when he looks at me - and for that matter, what the motley assortment of other boys I've kissed think? I mean, in general, my first thoughts are as follows, "I KISSED YOU", then maybe his name & any other important facts I should be remembering about them - like, how I know them, if, or (more likely) which instrument they play, etc, etc... So, I just wonder if I stick in boys' brains like that, or if they think about me more like I think about the above referenced boy. ::sigh:: Ah to be a brainwave… lol.

Anyhow, tonight I'm off to see the bambinos at Southpaw who are opening for ROHS, who are opening for Brendan Benson. Another triple threat ticket for Jocelyn? I think so.

MAYBE I'll back-entry tomorrow. We'll see about that.