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People, it seems, are inherently fucked-up and weird. Or so that's what I seem to be finding as of late. I mean, I'm not the most stable person in the world - I'll be the first to admit that I can be kind of twisted sometimes... this is PRECISELY why I should not be put in the middle of other twisted people's fucked-up head games. What can I say? I walked riiiiiight into it. Shoulda, woulda, coulda... the mantra of the monday morning quarterback. Is this more like it? What you were expecting? So happy to oblige, but I wouldn't get too used to it. I'm done with this bullshit.

-- that was my rant from earlier on this afternoon, when i was blinded by the kind of rage reserved for those who realize they are being royally fucked over by people who are finding sadistic pleasure in it. That was all before I remembered that none of that really matters to me. "Tiny Drama", remember? ...like Kabuki for mice. Once again, Zoe saved the day by visiting me at work today, climbing up on my lap, punching a few keys, and separating red & blue dogs on Sesame Street.com. Of course all the hugs & kisses & "i love you auntie jocelyn"'s helped too. My best girl is three now, for those of you you who know & love the munchkin, can you even stand it? She's such a big girl now, and just the most beautiful thing ever. She was too adorable today, all dressed up to meet the Easter Bunny!! so cute.

In the meantime, I've been trolling for Benzos/TVotR tickets all day long. I HAD one and then the girl took it back... how terrible is that? I so should have bought a thursday ticket when I saw that Friday had sold out - especially with the not having any work tomorrow. Oh well. I'll keep checking, plus there's one other connection I can maybe work on - I just want to see Benzos again SO badly. Plus TVotR just HAS to have improved from their lackluster performance I caught last summer at Luxx. Oh Christ. I didn't even CONSIDER that if I wind up at the Merc tonight I might end up running into the BoyA. Eh. It's not even awkward at this point... I mean I'm still a little miffed over the Halloween debacle, but I shouldn't have put myself in that position in the first place... Hmmn. Recurring pattern? LOL. Maybe I ought to try a little forward thinking as far as the alphas are concerned... much as I love living for the moment, it hasn't been working out so well for me lately.

yeah, yeah - I owe everyone posts from 3/31 and 4/5. I'll get there. I just need to clear my head first.