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um, okay. not to discount my entire post yesterday, but i was just having a day, you know?
am i truly concerned about the way certain things in my life are at the moment? yes. am i utterly devastated by life in general? no. meaning... i woke up in a much better mood this morning. despite my comfortable relationship with the quiet folds of depression, i am by nature, an optimist (yeah, i know hello walking contradiction. if someone figures me out someday, please let ME know what to make of me? thanks.) things could have been a lot worse. things can get a lot better with a relatively minimal amount of effort.

in the meantime, more bad news today... but it really didn't set me off like i might have expected, so either i'm numb again, or i've achieved a new, zen-like state of being. it's going to cost $930 to get the bug fixed. yep. that'll pretty much flatten me for another month. so basically, if you're looking around for me at your show / sponsored event / hootenanny & you don't see me? well, chances are it wasn't free and/or i wasn't on your guest list. as it is i'm going home to look around my place & see what i can sell on ebay to keep me a float until my reimbursement or my next paycheck kick in.

tomorrow night at irving for stellastarr* / the killers / ambulance, ltd will be my last large-venue show until coachella... i may even end up selling my muse ticket - although i may have done that will-call, in which case i can't really sell it now can i? in the mean time... any anonymous &/or wealthy readers who would like to fund my continued bouts with debauchery, please go here and send cash monies to me at brainwavy@livejournal.com. hell, if it can work for these people, why shouldn't I give it a shot?