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So you can make me cum, that doesn't make you Jesus...

right. so the "sub title" doesn't really apply here, but it's like one of the most brilliant lyrics ever – so I couldn't very well use the line before it & then just cut it off – it would have bothered me every time I looked at it.

originally, I was going to settle down into a nice long rant about how I – a girl who's never so much as thrown a single punch at anyone ever – am having a serious yen to pick up a baseball bat & start bashing things. Perhaps human things. This is all intensified by the hormonal upheaval I'm currently undergoing, and so hopefully I needn't remind you that I am simply an emotional girl with an over active imagination and a penchant for daydreams and fantasies that I wouldn't see come true even if they could. However... at this point I quite think that I've wasted enough energy being furious today & I'm just going to let it all go. Ahhhhhh. That's better.

I will, however, discuss my AWFUL evening. I took my broke self down to Pianos. I should seriously have just stayed home. Home was safe and quiet and free, but no no, that wasn't good enough for me. I got there way after the reading, so most of the crowd I'd hoped I'd run into were already gone. Basically? Pianos was next to empty & I was faced with shall we say a very limited array of companions. Luckily for me, that number expanded over the course of the evening. But I digress... back to the travesties.

A) I took out my camera to take a picture of the lovely Nora K. spinning behind the dj station only to find that my LCD screen was smashed in. Don't know how it happened – am totally devastated. I don't even know if it can be fixed yet...

2) I came to Pianos with $11. That got me two Stellas. That was barely enough to get me to quit shaking. If I was going to stay, there was going to have to be something stronger in my future. Nora put on FF's "Take Me Out" & the decision to stay washed over me. I slapped down my visa and got me a Tanqueray & Tonic. Two drinks later, post Nora's set, I was about ready to call it quits. I asked to close out my tab – my card was declined. OH. FUCK. I knew full well there wasn't enough in my checking account to cover the bill, I didn't know what to do, I was about to start pan-handling and then Doug spotted me $20 to cover my tab. Doug is my hero. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. I swear on everything I can think of to pay him back Saturday & immediately offer him a ride home.

D) Doug asks if I can take Nora too. Of course I can! We pile into the bug, Nora directs us to her house. Doug & I are a little lost. I make a left turn under a train/highway/something with lots of columns that disrupt your average street layout & WHAM! POW! CLUNK! Apparently I managed to run over a bit of the divider. shitmotherfuckershitshit. I, of course, have a flat tire. Funny thing? I'd just gotten my renewal notice from AAA and hadn't sent it in yet. Also? I know I have roadside assistance free from Volkswagen, but have no idea what number to call. And I suppose, theoretically, that I *could* have found a way to get one of the services to come out & help me, but I'm sure it would have taken a very VERY long time for them to get there. But Doug, now raised to Super Hero status, suggests we change the tire ourselves. You should have seen us. If it wasn't so tragic – it would almost have been hysterical. The process that was changing this tire was just unreal... I barely knew what to do, Doug had never changed a tire before – there were too many tools & seemingly not the right ones... but we managed to pull it off somehow. Or rather, Doug pulled it off. I think my contribution was comprised of unscrewing the loosened lug nuts with my fingers, not losing them, and then feeding them back into their threads. We made our way to Queens VERY slowly. In addition to the tire, my alignment is completely fucked up. To drive straight, my steering wheel has to basically be turned 90 degrees. Oh I was a scene driving home on 87, cruise control set to 45 mph, hazards on...

So basically, despite my having fun at odd intervals – my night sucked. And I owe my firstborn child to Doug. And possibly my kidneys. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. God only know what I would have done without him last night, so for the moment he can ask for anything in the world & I will find a way to make it happen.


( 5 spankings — spank your inner moppet )
Mar. 24th, 2004 07:38 pm (UTC)

Mar. 25th, 2004 07:51 am (UTC)
Times like this I'm glad life is simpler in Boston. Come back soon. Big hugs.
Mar. 25th, 2004 11:29 am (UTC)
:( sorry about you bad night
Those damn dividers s*ck!!!!! Queens roads suck too!!!! They have caused me to change too many tires/rims ugh

Mar. 25th, 2004 11:31 am (UTC)
Re: :( sorry about you bad night
ooops that was me
Mar. 25th, 2004 02:33 pm (UTC)
Re: :( sorry about you bad night
I would love to rag on Queens, but we were definitley still someplace in Williamsburg at the time, so this was a Bklyn disaster...
( 5 spankings — spank your inner moppet )