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Now… onto Super Bowl SUPER weekend '04. Let's start it on Thursday with Audrey telling Greg he had to use me as his plus1 for The Stills. The three of us arrived just as opening band The Killers were playing their first song. Now, since hearing Sarah & Audrey gush over them after catching their CMJ set, I've been dying to see them. Well. They live up to the hype. fan-fucking-tastic. Take Radio4, a dash of Interpol & roll it up with some stellastarr* (+ maybe a little HHH ?)& besides too many hipsters to count, you end up with an incredibly infectious dance-beat driven band called "The Killers". Boy 5, being in attendance, commented that they have one of the stronger rhythm sections out there right now & I couldn't agree more. Yay Killers.

The second band, Ratatat was kind of Brian Eno-ish (per Steve) & while I enjoyed what I heard – an electronic based band like that doesn't do much for me live – you know what I mean?

The Stills were The Stills… I enjoyed the set & there were a few songs that really got me going, but overall? eh. There's something missing from their performance these days – they just don't have the edge of their earlier shows.

So, on to the social aspect of the evening… first – many, many bands were in attendance: including Surefire, Stellastarr* (who it seems will be hitting the road with The Killers in the not-so distant future) The Inmen, etc…, etc… And amongst the usual suspects, much to my surprise, was BoyD. This being the first time I'd seen him since NYE, things were not surprisingly - well, exactly the same as they were pre-NYE. We chat, & then I watch him chat up other girls. I find excuses to be near him, and then find ways to excuse myself from our incredibly lame conversations. There is so very little there it's almost scary – but sure enough, a beer & a half later, I was dying to stick my tongue down his throat. I didn't. And I realized that no amount of alcohol would have given me balls enough to make that move, which kinda sucks 'cos now it's glaringly obvious that everything that has already happened has strictly been on his terms. grrr.

Friday. I took a well-deserved rest, & thought for a while about how bored I was with the boy situation:

BoyA - (as you all probably know by now) has been off the proverbial radar for months. In fact, I'm officially striking him from the roll call.
Boy2 - has been lost in translating himself from homeless hipster to designated male roommate in a 3's Company type deal & well, nothing new there… we make try to make plans, but the universe continually plots against us.
BoyD - well, we just went over that. Besides, how many times to I have to mention that I would not, could not date him in a million trillion years?
Boy5 – very sweet, very platonic.

in other words, boooooooooooooooooring.

I did score a few more hits on Nerve, including a local former Stepinac boy who wants to meet up for Vanilla Chai at Slave To The Grind, but until we actually set a date, we'll leave him un-numbered.

Who else am I crushing on? Um, Michael Stellastarr*. But that would never happen in a million years, & I'm more than happy to just continue to crush on him from afar.

Saturday night I head down to Tiswas to catch The Go Station and Aerial Love Feed. Now I knew Audrey wouldn't be there, so I was hoping that there would be lots of other folks I know to keep me company… well, my wish was granted. Looking through the magic Tiswas mirror, "I see Jinners & Jo & Ashley & Erica & Guilia & Seth & hello – Michael SS*" We had a blast. The Go Station was excellent, ALF rocked out, the bouncer bought Ash & I drinks, Jo & Erica shook their groove thangs with me, & the cute coat check boy & I had had entire conversations about my "Dr. Who Scarf", Liv Tyler & LoTR. Oh. And I developed a new crush. Let's call him BoyG: He apparently went & found me on the Friendster after "seeing me around"; he kissed me on the cheek several times; he told me I was gorgeous; he introduced me to his girlfriend. Yeah. So it's just a crush & he's probably too young for me anyways, but there you have it – the christening of a new letter boy.

I made my way through a rigoddamndiculous amount of traffic to Pianos for Audrey & Jasper's inaugural The Day After party. Turned out to be SO much fun. The game was on the big screen, the tap was a-flowin', Sarah, Greg & The Stills provided all the right tune-age for increasingly drunken dancing. And of course there was the half time show… and the shadow puppets… and Janet's boob. So, SO much fun. If you live here & weren't there, please kick yourself right now – you missed a hella good time.

From there, we moseyed around the corner to Arlene's Grocery for another Surefire gig. I was feelin' warm & fuzzy. I was completely over the idea that BoyD had once again shown up with a quasi-date & that the newly coined BoyG hadn't shown at all. I was excited for Sarah to see the baby boys for the first time (her review says it all).

And then… something quite unexpected happened – I met a boy. A very cute boy. I hereby christen him, "Boy8" (Robyn you may need to check my math there… A, 2, D, 5, G, 8… right?) Anywho, he's a friend of a friend of Jasper & we just started talking. I shared a beer with him, we laughed at how pathetic we were when we were 17 as compared to the young rock gods… the next thing I knew, he was holding my hand & I asking me to hang out after the show & I was just loopy with twitterpated anticipation. I could have kissed him right there, but I didn't… we managed to wait for the first stoop outside the venue. Another perfectly film-able NYC moment - and oh boy, I really like kissing this boy, I'm in trouble. I drive him home to Queens & can't even begin to say how fantastic a time I was having, which of course – is when I decide to leave. Because really, god forbid I like a boy AND have a good time in bed – that's just not allowed in my life these days. But it was late, so I did leave. He asked for my number & gave me his, wanted to know if he could see me again, wanted to know if I'd stay the night some time this week… "yes, yes, yes" punctuated with kisses. Heaven knows how I found my way out of Queens, but through a series of turns I credit completely to divine intervention, I was home, smiling & in my own bed by 1 AM.
God Bless Super Bowl Sunday.

So, now… that was all good, it was exactly what I needed & if nothing more ever comes of it, it will still have been the perfect night. However, having said that… I've found him on the Friendster & I think I might really, actually be interested in him. And the thing about sex on the first (can't even really count it as such) "date" – is that you can't take it back. There's no way of back-pedaling, of wanting to take it slow. If it progresses into anything at all, it's immediately & automatically intense, and well – if you've read ANY of this journal, you know I'm severely damaged & am rather likely to run screaming in the opposite direction of anything that involves any kind of emotional attachment. Exhibit A: Yesterday I started having Panic attacks simultaneously about the possibility that a) he doesn't call and 2) he does. Scary stuff people. But right now I want him to call. I really really do. So, help me out then, it's now Tuesday evening & he hasn't called. Do I call him? Do I wait on his call? Do I chalk it up to a fun night? help. help. help. thank you.


( 1 spanking — spank your inner moppet )
Feb. 3rd, 2004 04:09 pm (UTC)
I say
let him call
( 1 spanking — spank your inner moppet )