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almost

almost is such an odd concept... a teetering on the edge of sorts. A feeling of neither here nor there. anticipation without direction. almost summer isn't really a season. it's nearly spring, it's nearly warmer. the trees are blooming, the air feels thick with promise, but still cold enough to chill you as the sun sets. the wind is too cold, but not cold enough for winter. you could just think it might be spring but for the warmer days you've been having in between. or maybe spring IS just almost summer. almost happy is another one. slightly content. maybe even close to enjoying your own life. most of the time things are ok, if only your brain would shut off enough to let you enjoy the moment. almost in love is the worse. staring over the precipice, knowing that you could give in at any moment, or get pushed. and that's a dangerous thing when you've been down in the pit before searching for a way out. almost in love means you still have a choice. almost in love means choosing between the known and the unknown. you can stay with what you know, or you can let yourself fall, and all the wonderful longing that goes along with it, all the mystery of the known in new light. its nearly palpable, but you can't quite grasp it. its like finding the ocean unexpectedly and deciding to swim, it's like swimming and deciding whether to drown or float. almost in love is knowing that your fall will burn you inside out, but still wondering if it's worth it just to feel alive again.

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Comments

( 1 spanking — spank your inner moppet )
(Anonymous)
Jun. 24th, 2008 08:06 am (UTC)
You write so well...
I almost believe in love.
-JI
( 1 spanking — spank your inner moppet )