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elemental empathy, a change of synergy...

See this post? Yes. "He's just not that into you" has spawned attention even from the opposite sex... of course I'm a little late to the table with it, but hey - as you all may have noticed, I've been hanging back a bit lately when it comes to the internet - and to some degree, life, as of late. But that's another story for another day.

I'm here to comment on the thought processes associated with my gender in the post. I'd say a good 90% of the time a woman will decide outright within the first hour of meeting a man whether or not she's interested in him. This is of course a generalization, and perhaps applies more to the sexual side of things than to relationships, but it's still true for both. The idea that "girls can take forever [to figure out if they're into someone]" is bogus. Either we are or we're not... but please don't think that has anything to do with how long we'll date you. I mean I've seen plenty of relationships that have been dragged out indefinitely with the girl waffling the entire time. Basically, she knows he's into her and - quite possibly she desperately wants to be into him, and perhaps thinks if she just gives him - them really - a chance, that things might progress or change for her. But she's just wasting her time - their time really - because it won't happen.

Conversely, I've seen women break off relationships with men they were madly in love with. This tends to be more troubling for men. But it comes down to a sense of practicality, and occasionally self-preservation. Let's face it. Women fall for the wrong men constantly - but in general, once past the age of say 22, they are aware of this tendency. Thus the notion of dating Mr. Wrong for an extended period of time... indulging ourselves if you will, and then eventually breaking it off for what seems like no reason. (but in all actuality is due to the incredible weight of having known the entire time that it couldn't ever work out) The second version of this is knowing that she's more love with him than he'll ever be with her. A girl can hold on to that kind of relationship for only so long before it begins to tear her apart - and so, in a desperate act of self preservation, she ends it.

In any case, just as much as a man, a woman will size up relationship potential right away. I think it's just an automatic human response... hormones, pheromones, brain chemistry - whatever it is that draws you to someone - you can tell right away if there's a spark. Once you've detected spark, you should be able to tell in a week or so if you're remotely compatible, and in less than a month you should be able to gage longevity. But really it all comes back to the spark. If there's no spark - there's no point. Sparks don't grow on trees, and they're not the kind of thing that will develop over time. The only exception to this rule is what is known as "spark delay". Which can only happen when one party is so emotionally unavailable when they meet that they are blind to any and all sparkage. This can happen post-bad breakup, while they are madly in love with someone else, or recently devastated by some other life-event. In which case it is possible for the pair to become friends without realizing any spark potential until much later when the emotional shock has worn off. Unfortunately Hollywood seems to treat this as the rule rather than the exception and hence encourages many a woman to hang on to relationships where she feels that either set of feelings are "bound" to intensify.

Basically, i think that I managed to arrive at exactly the same conclusion as my male counterpart. Hmn. I guess I got a little too hung up on his earlier rants about time-lines to notice that we both landed in the same school of thought...

right. in other news, this week marked the return of the face, the brain, and the BMOC. Yes, all three of them - all at once, because that's how my life works. Also, there was a boy named Ashley and I got all "fiddle-dee-dee", but tomorrow is another day, and I'll save their stories for then.