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And I miss you when you're not around...

this is a pointless post.

my problem is - I have no real idea of what I want. It changes on a weekly, daily, hourly basis.
tonight, watching ridiculously sappy teen-drama-drivel has reduced me to a wallowing mess... what I want at the moment, is that person i can just call. without a reason beit legitimate or carefully fabricated. i don't have that person right now. I have no one to just call when I'm lying in the dark near sleep. and I miss those phone calls. there might not have been anything to say - you might have just seen eachother all day, already know everything that's going on, but it never mattered. it was just a connection, a sense of feeling wanted or needed, that somehow just knowing you were there was a comfort to someone. Am I making sense here? I want to be able to just breathe on the phone with someone. I think I'm losing my mind. Now quick tell me a boy actually likes me and watch me run for the friggin hills.

::sigh::

Someone suggested the other night that I want love like "the oldtimers". our eyes met across the room at the USO, and i just knew... i crossed the floor and took her hand and when it fit in mine perfectly i knew I'd want to be with her always - and so I got down on one knee and proposed right then and there. That was 50 years ago, and we've never spent a singlenight aprat since then you know what? I could go for that in a big way. I want something bigger than me, bigger than flirtation and innuendo, something I can't shut off when i close my eyes at night.

oh. and I saw U2 perform on a flatbed truck on the Manhattan Bridge. I also stood 50 feet away from them in a park and got to scream my head off to I will follow. Still don't have anyone to call - but I do have walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away recorded on my phone...











Comments

( 4 spankings — spank your inner moppet )
ophelia99
Nov. 23rd, 2004 07:19 am (UTC)
GASP! I completely forgot to tell you joc! I'm going to be in the philly area (possibly NYC) for new years!!!!

I'm flying to philly to hang out and spend new years with dave brown and friends, but a good friend of mine from austin will be in NYC and i'm going to try to go up there too and maybe spend a day or something....

sista...we should hang out.
krisdrum
Nov. 25th, 2004 12:07 am (UTC)
Tradition shunner
How dare thee shun a Thanksgiving Eve tradition. Appauling. That is all.
brainwavy
Nov. 25th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Tradition shunner
shun thanksgiving eve!
never!!!!
only no one was left by the time I got out :(
krisdrum
Nov. 25th, 2004 05:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Tradition shunner
I guess you went out after 2am then. Or stopped by different venues. I was out, as were at least a handful of others. Oh well.
( 4 spankings — spank your inner moppet )