?

Log in

No account? Create an account

back thattaway | next thisaway

I HATE SEX.

So… self imposed celibacy has come to an end. And I'm seriously beginning to remember why I stopped in the 1st Place: I hate sex. It just ends up fucking everything up.

Backstory
I've been juggling a few men as of late – we'll call them boys A, 2, & D. However, for the purposes of our story, boy "D" is irrelevant (ok, so maybe he's mostly irrelevant, but that might not always be the case)

Boy A
Now, have been seeing (read: spontaneously making out with) Boy A for a while now & he seems to really like me. Plus he's been a good sport so far about my not putting out (even though we're soooo past the third date). But the other thing about him is that he's what I like to call "insta-boyfriend" (just add alcohol). ie: his fondness for PDA's, while sweet, make me look incredibly unavailable.

Boy 2
We've only just recently become more than the most casual of acquaintances. There's been random cuteness & one night of making out. As of We're not entirely sure whether or not that was a one-time only deal as boy2 is harder to read than [insert your favorite long-winded author here, I'm going to go with Joyce…]

The Precarious Situation
I double booked myself. No really, I did. I realize that kind of thing is only supposed to happen on cheesy tv sitcoms, but I walked right into it. Supposed to go see K's band at 10. Supposed to hang with boy A beforehand & boy 2 afterwards. Now, if you've ever watched a cheesy sitcom, you know that this obviously went to shit faster than you can say "Charles In Charge". Boy A ends up inviting himself to the show with me & as per usual, much making out ensues. Boy A really wants me to go home with him. uhhhhhhhhhhhh… SHIT. Whaddoido? I lie -- of course. But he spends the rest of the night trying to get me to change my mind & I very nearly do, but in the end, my curiosity about boy 2 gets the better of me. So, after a large scale game of hide & go seek (during which I flirted my way out of a cell-phone ticket – go me, knew my tits were good for something besides attracting eyeballs) I find boy 2. We kick it with his friends & then wind up hanging back at his place, talking till the wee-est of hours and then he asks if I want to crash there. I hem & haw because I'm trying really hard not to be "THAT girl" and I can't figure out if he really wants me to stay.
ARGGGHH!! Why don't people just say what they mean on a regular basis? Why are we constantly silencing ourselves out of guardedness & social politics? /rant.
It's way late & I'm not really feeling the 40 min drive home, so I say fuck it & stay… there is more cuteness, but nothing happens AND we don't talk about it because that would mean having to be honest with each other & who wants that? *insert eye roll*
I'm exhausted, somewhat disillusioned but still remotely certain that I made all the right choices. To get back to the sitcom-iness, Boy A OF COURSE calls while I'm with Boy2, but seeing as there's no way of handling that call discreetly, I let it go to voicemail.

The Reaction
I spend most of the day in a sleep dep meets far too much coffee daze which works well with the cool misty weather & is all part of how my brain starts twisting everything into further disillusionment regarding boy 2. THIS is how I wind up at Boy A's place by midnight. We have a few beers & I agree to crash out there (his exact words, "I'll be a perfect gentleman") we head out to a VERY cool local bar & actually have a good time --oh if only my night had ended there… He obviously lost his Victorian guide to behavior becoming a gentleman as my clothing was flying off rapidly & not of it's own accord. Now, I go with it because HI – I haven't had sex in 6 months & in my pouting mind, it ain't going to happen with boy2 so, hey, why the hell not?
Okay how about the following reasons?
· It hurt
· It took too long
· He didn't get off
· I didn't get off (not that this should have been a shocker and latley I'm thinking that sex in general would be more fun if I ever did…)
· I have hickies
· I got a parking ticket

Mini-Rants regarding blowjobs & hickies

1. Someone please tell me why the hell I can't move my neck the day after giving a blow job – I mean is there some sort of isometrics I should be doing ahead of time, 'cause OW I cannot turn my head.

2. If you are on the receiving end of oral & for whatever reason you think it just might not happen for you inside a reasonable amount of time – call it off. Seriously. Or give some direction or something. Trust me, they're tired and just being polite at this point (it's bad form to quit before you've been relieved).

3. Hickies. Just DON'T do it. Come on? What are you 14? You find the need to leave your "mark" on my neck? Hello!? A. My neck does NOT belong to you, 2. Most of us have actual professional jobs & a limited supply of scarves & turtlenecks. For real, just say NO to hickies - they suck, um, literally.

In Retrospect
I should have passed on spending the night b/c now things are complicated with boyA & I still don't know how I feel abot boy2.

Final note: Boy A is internetly challenged & will as such, never find this. Boy 2 on the other hand, could find it fairly easily with a well termed Googling. So, if you're boy2, um, welcome to my journal - I write what I write & besides, you're the one who came looking...

Tags:












Comments

( 4 spankings — spank your inner moppet )
pygmalion78
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:26 am (UTC)
That is hysterical. I just randomly found your journal thru the friends page of a friend. I love reading about mini soap operas, or sitcoms as the case may be. Would you mind if I added you to my lj friends?

Oh, and I sympathize with the whole attempted celibacy thing. I've had many problems with 'fuckbuddy' situations and have recently declared that I can't have sex anymore outside of an actual relationship.
brainwavy
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:37 am (UTC)
Wow, I have random readers now? Nifty!
Of course you can add me... I'm pretty much an attention whore. Besides, any friend of Marci is a friend of mine ;) And if you like soap operas, you've come to the right place - seriously, my life if a series of tv movies of the week with a few episodes of Guiding Light thrown in for fun. enjoy!


krisdrum
Sep. 15th, 2003 12:31 pm (UTC)
Amen... besides, she still hangs out with her ex-boyfriend, sopa opera staple for interest plot twists and turns. She's a fun read. ;)
(Anonymous)
Sep. 16th, 2003 07:33 am (UTC)
well, if your life were a sitcom...boy 2 will read your journal, print it out and find boy A, boys A and 2 will concoct a plan for said journal writer to experience mad bouts of hysteria, boy A will admit defeat, and you and boy 2 will laugh about this in a montage of flashbacks...

;) -- LP
( 4 spankings — spank your inner moppet )