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ok. so the date with the BMOC didn't happen tonight. We rescheduled for next thursday, and instead ended up talking on the phone for three hours. THREE hours. I can't even fucking remember the last time I talked to anyone on the phone for that long. So you know what? Fuck my paranoid commitment-phobic bullshit. I like him. I had a really great time talking to him. It was relaxed, and pop-culture centric, and we got off a few horribly embarrassing junior high moments, and it was really just comforting in some strange way. And who knows? Maybe it will develop into something worthwhile, and maybe it'll dissolve into a friendship, but either way, I'm not going to waste my time cutting it off at the ankles before I've given it a chance.

as if I even have to mention it... no word from the Face.

and the Brain? well, that might have been a one night stand of the cerebral variety, and that's ok too. because just having the experience was an adventure in and of itself.

Maybe I just have a different outlook on things after wading through my past a bit tonight. Maybe I'm ready to be a little healthy and relax my grip when it comes to the boys. Maybe the trouble has been that I've been over thinking things. Regardless, this weekend should be pretty interesting. Lots of places to go, people to see. I'll get to spend some quality time with the girls that doesn't involve a church, taffeta or cake. Plus I'll have a chance to see the entire family and celebrate the kind of lasting love we all dream about. 50 years. think about that for a minute will you? A marriage that has lasted almost two of my lifetimes... I don't think I can truly comprehend dedicating that much of my life to someone else, but nevertheless, it's something to aspire to.

Plus? I have the apartment to myself again, which is always a fantastic thing. Think I might slip outside & just watch the stars for a bit. It's just been that kind of night.