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Getting Gushy

Hello again tiny collection of readers ;)

So today – for a variety of reasons, I've been thinking a lot about infatuation. And whether it was easier for me to "get all gushy" about someone when I was younger than it is now. I think certainly, it was easier then… but then, why?

For one, I think that age has made me pickier. No longer is pretty face or a nice body enough (not, mind you that any kind of body is usually a determining factor for me – but you know, back in the day, a nice set of abs was known to push a few smirking faces over the line) Nor is it necessarily what I notice first anymore… Okay that's a blatant lie. I still notice a face first. Oh but this is getting no where fast b/c if the body isn't as important anymore shouldn't that INcrease the number of men in the pool? Psh! What I'm trying to get out here is that I think it takes a little more to rev my infatuation engines these days… I think perhaps I've been disappointed a little too often by my little infatuations – they haven't lived up to my initial declarations of gush-worthiness. And this has slowly accumulated (over the years) a pile of tarnished armor that makes staring up at my next white knight – well, a tad tiresome. I mean – he better be able to do some serious tricks to attract my attention before I'm go expending any kind of effort.

yeesh. see? See what state I'm in? We're talking simple infatuation here… not even a relationship… your basic all-consuming crush – and I'm not even willing to expend energy on that!? Maybe it's better that way. Maybe there's something grown up about it – you know? I mean really, isn't it better not to put forth that kind of effort & emotion until you have a grasp on more than that shiny outer shell?

Still. It's been so long since I've even had the tiniest spark of interest in ANYone – it's just sad. I mean, I've met plenty of men post-Joe & zip, zilch, nada… And I'm not talking sex here – I just mean that "omg I looove him" feeling you get in your gut. All the people I felt that way – or thought I could feel that way about… have pretty much all lost their luster. I dunno. Maybe what I'm looking for doesn't exist – or if it does, wouldn't be interested in me… but hey, I could certainly worship from afar & I don't even have anybody to put in THAT category – so we're back to non-existence again.

I think I'm just burnt the hell out. I'm beginning to think I need this vacation more than I thought. lol.

Oh – here are some words of wisdom on the topic from Robyn:

Me: Do you think it's harder to be infatuated with someone now than it was for us - say five years ago?

Robyn: My answer would be no, but now we have a more acute sense of responsibility and what is appropriate (or we should) so we can't let something like that become our world (or so we SHOULD). I think a bit of infatuation is actually healthy because it brings us back to our youth a bit, but it's not sensible in the long run.
LOL - I sound like dear abby

Me: lol

hmmmn – ponderous man, real ponderous. I think all in all it was so much easier to fall for boys back in the day when I was looking at romance with rose colored glasses. Don't get me wrong – I still have the glasses… they're just a little scratched up. And the view is a little on the fuzzy side these days.











Comments

( 2 spankings — spank your inner moppet )
(Anonymous)
Feb. 25th, 2003 07:03 am (UTC)
Ditch the glasses all together. Get a new, different pair. Infatuation, in most cases is just unhealthy, and often gets mistaken for love, but is far from it. I'd have to disagree with Robyn. Not having a crush is probably one of the best things you've ever done for yourself. "Princess" syndrome isn't a pretty thing, as "Joe Millionaire" clearly showed us.
ophelia99
Feb. 27th, 2003 03:59 pm (UTC)
As I get older.. I'm starting to feel more like if I'm even going to think at all about getting serious with a guy, he's going to have to prove to me.. and REALLY show me how serious he is with me first... not that I think I'm some GREAT CATCH.. and he has to prove himself to me... it's just.. I seem to get into a pattern with guys who *seem* to be way into me... and then I get my hopes up and they back down. for no apparent reason.

*sigh*
good luck dood.... romance.. sometimes doesn't seem worth it.
( 2 spankings — spank your inner moppet )